Nothing

This sad state of being
aggravates me to no end.
The form of my intent buried, unseen.
My mind wants what it can't have.
and my life; on the road to nothing
There is no rehearsal; and no retakes
This is what you have
and this what you'll get
this ordinary life bleeds me
while the truth promises no solace
and these that I hold so dear
just seem to disappear
and I try to hold on
but the rain in my head makes everything slip
I cry out for attention
but no one has an ear to lend.
I want to be someone else
but I know that this is not true
Now, I know what to feel
it makes it no easier.
I know how things will play out
I will do what I have to do
and then there will be nothing.

Ramblings of an intoxicated bumpkin.

Warning: excuse the banal prolixity of this post, it is one of those where the introduction is longer than any actual substance, but what can I say, I am an airhead not unlike this certain classmate of mine, who is as hot as superheated plasma [oops, my science-tourette's is acting up again] Just looking at her makes me lose the blood supply to my brain. Yeah, I did, and you know what I meant.

It is all about enduring the agony,
perchancel; I am a masochist? - S.K. Meer

Which is funny considering the fact that I have zero tolerance for pain.
I remember twelfth standard biology or senior year as people here in the US call it, where we had to prick our own finger to test for our blood type, I was the last guy to be able to do it, even the girls who sat with me made fun of the fact that I was not able to puncture my own skin, but come on... Who likes punching a hole in their own finger? I know I don't.

I would have asked the professor to do it for me had I not seen that she kinda stabbed the one guy who did ask for her help, with the lancet-thing, with a vengeance; like as if he had just knocked up her daughter.



Artist's rendering of what said professor looked like on that fateful day.

Anyway, I was speaking to a friend, saying that I like keeping the fact that I like someone from that person. This silly, needless martyrdom gets me off I think. Maybe I am in love with falling in love and pining for someone. What pathetic nonsense is this?


Artist's rendition of your author, he was asked to go a little light on the ugliness.

But then, how do you chase someone when she isn't running from you?

Anyway what I really want to talk about; I had another one of those strange moods today.

And this is how it happened as always:

I suddenly stopped doing whatever I was doing,
like as if I suddenly lost my purpose.
which is funny; purpose? who has any purpose anyway?
life has no goal, and no, being 'successful' in the normal materialistic sense has as profound a meaning as the swirls in Paris Hilton's new hairdo.
Jokes aside, so you just live your life the best you can and maybe have a little fun while at it. And, then I snap back from this day dream, back to the rat race where no one is going anywhere too soon but you want to run. And I laugh just as the silly feeling I just had fades away. At my insignificance. For now.

leif

And we are all victims
aren't we?
sailing in a sinking boat
the end is certain
its only the 'when' that is not
and we go about
pretending like this is not true,
and instead of helping our fellow passengers,
we seem intent on pushing their heads down
so that they drown faster than us,
like as if that will buy us some time.
And when our last breath leaves our body,
we know the truth and cant ignore it any longer
and it is at this time that we repent
and ask for more time and another chance
at doing things right.
But we will be denied this
for it is a little too little
a little too late.
And we got what we deserved.

me

Ignore the ugliness
and all you're left with, is me,
'cause this is exactly
who I wanted to be.
I may not have what I want,
I may not have what I need
but at least in my heart of hearts
I am absolutely free.

[a little emo? I think so]

Indianism.

Have you ever wondered if you are truly Indian at heart?
That an authentic Indian heart beats within the confines of your chest, and that you are worthy of being an Indian and holding an Indian passport? After all, getting a passport in our country is equivalent to performing the twelve labors of Hercules, and that too without his powers. Case in point, the guy in front of me when I had gone, unsuccessfully, to renew my passport; was asked to go back home for the third time because the bank manager, this time, had signed on the wrong side of the letter. Anyway that is besides the point.


Ooh Ooh, can I have mine in Purple?

What were we talking about? Oh yes: do you wonder if you are truly Indian? if you do, do not fear for I, karbage, most gracious; most merciful, purveyor of the three worlds, knower of the unknowable, custodian of the two holy tenets: freedom of speech, and the "leave me alone" directive, have come up with a sure fire test to give you hapless mortals concrete proof of your indianness or its lack thereof.

Test: In order to perform the test you must find the northeast direction, which is why I would prefer you did the test on a laptop, and read out the following prayer, you must make sure that the direction is NE as Vaastu commands you to utilize the positive vibrations that propogate along the lay lines which lie in that cardinal direction.

"Lord God, It is I, your humble creation, I seek your guidance in solving a particular problem that is haunting my conscience. I need to know whether I am truly Indian or not, so I would like to pressurize you to come forward and reveal to me the answer to my humble question."

Now, here is the actual test, IF at no point of time during the prayer did you laugh out loud because you saw yourself putting your god, whosoever it might be: jebus, FSM, or Xenu, in a cooker with some water and...

Then, you my friend are definitely Indian inside. In which case you are entitled to wear the Indian Inside tee, as this woman who has undoubtedly passed my test, has done. On a side note doesn't the chick look like chief Wiggum's long lost daughter?


Available in all sizes and shapes.

Your author unfortunately Phails this test big time, and was subsequently beaten by his mom for laughing out loud when she used the word "pressurize" in a non-engineering context

Read this; true story!

The Greatest adventure of my life, well... Okay, the second most greatest adventure of my life.

Listen up people because what I am about to say will totally change the way you look at me as a person.

You know they say that the best things in life happen when you least expect them, well, this is one of those 'least expected' moments. It all began when I set out of my house, today evening, to buy myself a pack of Classic Milds. Little did I know that I would come the closest I have will ever come to actually hooking up with a woman\women, ever. I actually lost my conversation-ginity.

So on the way back, while walking toward my house, who should happen to stop next to me in a swanky, black, brand new BMW, choosing me out of the millions of other single guys walking on the road at the time? Two hot damsels in distress, apparently in need of my help in navigating through this constantly spinning carousel, a smörgåsbord of exhilarating experiences you puny mortals like to call 'life' a.k.a the mad bad world.

Swinging into action, I strove to quickly... as the cliched American characters in sitcoms often say- "bring it on"

I felt like a real life Adonis, Brad Pitt even, heck, I almost felt; White! (As in the race)

The one riding shotgun lowered her window and asked me in the sweetest voice ever, "Can you tell us how to get to this place called Aruna Enclave ?" I play it cool, take my time and try to recall where was it that I had heard this name before ? Oh yes, the conversation is taking place next to a HUGE signboard about 8 feet tall with the words 'Aruna Enclave' printed in big black bold letters on a ocher yellow background ? So I bring on the aforementioned 'it' and in the most casual way possible, say "Um, you see this board here ? It says turn left... I think you should turn left here ?"

A little giggling, embarrassed smiles and they took the left! How cool is that ? See, I am not that lame. I actually spoke to real women, yay!

Although...

The story would have kicked more ass if I didn't have to exaggerate a few details, like the 'sex' of the occupants of the car.

Yeah, I lied, they were male :(

And I was the only guy walking down the road on a hot summer day :(

And it was a beat up whiteTata Sumo :(

And yeah, I had to tell them how to take the left :(

And the guy sounded like he had just deep-throated some guy, he sounded like Casey Affleck. yuck, I think I am going to brush my ears now.

But, all was not wrong with the world because I think the signboard was totally taller than 8 feet :D

And ocher yellow ? Does it kick ass or what ?

I rule! Quite a quixotic adventure I must say.

And why do I feel that the 'gay' jokes will only get worse once I publish this ?

(Totally true story by the way.)

A-mus(e)ic

How to turn your Garage\Heavy Metal band into a Post-Rock band.


Step 1; Fire your vocalist plus another member from your band. Because otherwise your vocalist will just become an unproductive groupie like that retarded cousin of yours that your mom insists accompany you on your visit to your friends, and besides unless the vocalist is female, there is no point in keeping one. Usually the other one to go is the lead guitarist, as we all know the post-rock scene is not known for its instrumental virtuosity, but you might even fire your bassist. In any case, the optimum number of members is 3, but in certain situations 4 may be okay!

Step 2 ; Form your own Label. All you need is a name and two band members to say 'yes', majority wins, democracy was never this simple.

Step 3; Give the label a name, as with all names in this genre, it MUST be a phrase of some sort, one that is syntactically correct, it might even make sense as far as semantics go, but it should not be anything relevant, or easily understandable. Examples; Names such as "Pygmy sticks records up his ass-crack" or "Beelzebub thinks, record works" basically string a few nouns, a verb and the word 'record' to form a sentence.

Step 4; Give your band a name, as always post-rock naming conventions apply, however, unlike the naming of your virtual 'record label', you need not use the word 'record.' Examples; "I.want.to.eat.tortillas", or "Cathartic bunnies on moon", a popular method is to add a few numbers to further obfuscate the meaning of the name, like say, "98687MustBeGay" for best results use a random number generator. You might even want to get creative, and add an unnecessary punctuation if required say, "Mongolia! I am from?."

Step 5; Sample witty dialogs from movies and add that to your songs, this works especially well with rants, added points if the soliloquy has swear words. Commonly sampled movies can be 'NETWORK', 'Fight Club', '25th Hour', 'The Rules of Attraction' etc.

Step 6; Sample a guitar riff, use riff over and over again.

Step 7; Give your song a name, as usual, be creative but obscure. like "Is there more falafel !"
or "G.K.G.F.J.T.Y.F" or "No one cares for Kim Kardashian's SexTape,"
bonus point for unnecessary caps, such as "MEatsnaKe"

Step 8; Learn to use these words while describing your music, and pooh-poohing other genres:

1) Motif
2) Soundscape
3) Texture
4) Dramatic Crescendos
5) Cinematic landscapes
6) Intelligent
7) Thinking Music.

Step 9; Distribute your music free on last.fm, and recommend yourself to random users. Anyone who criticizes your music runs the risk of being branded stupid and intellectually inferior in short a 'cockhead' (man, is that a funny word or what ?).

And there you go, you are on your way to a few million scrobbles on last.fm if nothing else.


---------------------------------------
All names are under a Creative Commons license, also there are a few post-rock bands which are really good, 'God is an Astronaut', '65dos' , EITS, being some of the good ones (that I like.)

Androgyn-geist

Allow me to introduce to you, Chauncey, who is technically speaking the personification of the dichotomy of Good and Evil. He was kicked out of both Heaven and Hell because they didn't know what the fuck he was. So now he is stuck with us, here in this meta-physical manifestation of existence, you might ask what is his 'entstehen', I think that he is the logical outcome of the law of causality being followed through(as it often does), if we were to think of 'Good' and 'Evil' as being the two sides of a coin, then he is the 'coin'

If those terms are a bit too obtuse for you, congrats you are NOT a nerd, sadly the same can not be said of me :(

So in laymen terms, he is just a nice guy who is omni-present, alas no one takes him seriously due to his 'being everywhere doing nothing' quality.



I know that I am somewhat breaking the fourth wall here, but my 'Artistic skills' are plainly seen in my drawing above, please feel free to send me money and\or gifts in appreciation of my superior ability, oh and I also accept cheques :)

Coda

The coolest word that I have never used in conversation, but want to; Rapscallion

I!

==Warning==

Disclaimer ahead.

==Disclaimer==

It is a sad situation that all of my posts need a disclaimer. So go ahead read the disclaimer;

Okay, here is a post, otherwise known as a 'vanity post', where one describes oneself in flattering words, which is being posted here, by me, under the laughable assumption that readers would be interested in finding out more about me.

So, if you are put off by pompous pontification, blatant fabrication, quixotic fantasies, or outrageous blasphemies, (well... Ok, maybe there won't be any blasphemy here, I just made the last one up for the rhyme.) I'd suggest you not waste your time by reading any further.

I usually, never reveal these, but I am a little high right now, and will regret putting this up a little later, but I am trying to be a normal human and this is my first step

-------------------------------------

The actual Post.

Things you probably didn't know about me:

1) I feel detached from everything, and often I forget who I am for a short while, I feel like I am watching myself from a distance, after having floated out of my body, I guess this is what makes existentialism so interesting for me.

2) I can read and write Arabic! yeah I can :( I don't know why.
ﻮﻳﺨﺖ ﺴﺎﻏﺮ (my name)

3) I have the will power of a kid in a candy store, yet I went from smoking 2 packs of smokes per day to just once a week, cold turkey. Nope, no withdrawal symptoms yet

4) I have never gone for a single guitar class in my life, I guess it shows, Haha, no, seriously, I am pretty good! (I am not usually this confident, and I had to force myself to write the last line, but I am trying to be funny, so it doesn't matter.)

5) We opened for Motherjane in CREC, Calicut =)

6) When it comes to women, I still think that one day, someone will recognize my shyness for what it is, and not mistake it for arrogance. Well, there is another fanciful idea that will never come true.

7) I like helping people even if I know they won't be thankful, maybe being a martyr of sorts gets me off, a little.

8) I always try to be the last to reply, in a conversation, check the comments on this blog, they are usually even in number, unless I have replied to 2 at the same time, because I find it rude to not reply.

9) After watching 'My Sassy Girl', Pachelbel's Canon in D major makes me sad, every time I hear it. Its true.

10) If you have read till here, congrats, you have more patience then I will ever have, I will stop here, for I don't want to bore you.(Talk about wishful thinking!)
bye
----------------------

Listening to '3 Libras (Acoustic) ' - A Perfect Circle and hoping I don't make a fool of myself.

Dread and the restless mind.

I love the blistering summer.
because it makes even plain water taste like heaven.

And you know what scares me most about death ?
that after it happens, I will stop being me.

A wasted opportunity is the saddest thing in the world,
for what is done is done and can never be undone.

Ode to You

Welcome!
Welcome to my blog,
my very own embarrassment.
It is like no other.
Yet, its another among millions.
It might infuriate you.
It might leave you unmoved.
It is mine, altogether mine,
and I have no excuses.
You might never be back,
never remember it again,
Yet I appreciate you
For the sole reason
that you came here once.
Lent me your ears,
albeit for a while.
Maybe, some other time,
this mightn't have been the end.
You and I could have been friends.

---------------------------------

Listening to Runaround - blues traveler

Deus Ex.

cæruleus: Hey did you see this play 'om pax pacis om' ?

Victorus: Nah ! I hate that writer.

cæruleus: No man, you should watch this one. It is good

Victorus: It is easy to be popular nowadays man, I have a great idea for a play.

cæruleus:yeah ?

Victorus: Yeah, all you got to do is write one on a subject which can't be criticized. say a retarded kid, or a Paraplegic Veteran. Something which people trying to act cool and appear sensitive, will want to watch. You know something which will make anyone, who criticizes it, look like an inconsiderate, uncouth, and insensitive brute.

cæruleus: Haha, yeah, and his friends will have a ball, criticizing his lack of sensitivity.

Victorus: There you go. SO then you make something bad happen to the character. Bring in a Patriarchal figure, you know... one who will guide the Retard and make a hero out of him. The feminists aren't to surface for a few hundred years anyway.

cæruleus: Hey! aren't you killing this dialogue with your anachronisms ?

Victorus: Aren't you breaking the fourth wall, a forbidden act, a non-sequitur ? you think the audience; the gods, will forgive you ?

cæruleus: Touche! pussy cat. But the gods are benevolent, One is a shade of Blue, she 'd care not for a non-sequitur, another is a circular snack eaten on a particular day apparently he doth manifest himself in me, Another is the sun, he is in transit.They observe, and they judge, but, he who controls us, is filthy, that is his name.

Victorus: Are you high ? Peyote ?

cæruleus: No, so go on.

Victorus: Yeah and then you make the retard overcome astronomical odds maybe add a Montage in there somewhere, and then the retard emerges victorious at the end. You will be able to fill an ocean with the tears you will make the audience churn out. And to top it off, give it a name which suggests many layers of depth like 'astro humus'* or something intangible and totally unrelated to the plot like 'niger'#

cæruleus: The public is stupid eh ?

Victorus: yup.

cæruleus: So, why don't you ?

Victorus: It's been done a million times already.

cæruleus: Hang on, waiter! another amphora please.

---Notes---
* Grammatically incorrect Latin for 'stars on the ground'
# Latin for 'Black'
Amphora: A vessel that people in Rome, keep wine in.
The writer wishes to say that he is not the kind of person to make fun of retarded people, he uses 'retard' here to signify how the ordinary man views them. As some 'thing' to have pity on. As if somehow, due to ill fortune, they deserve our contempt.

Hairy Donkey B*lls

Rabble Rabble, Once again I hear discontent brewing among my blog's minuscule almost embarassingly tiny, single digit readership.
'Say HS, what is this filth, you have been spitting out recently ?' they wonder.

If my address were known, I would probably have been on the run for fear of being lynched by my readers(I know 'readers' is in plural, I am not sure it really is.)I can almost see it in my mind, 2 or three bespectacled, hunchbacked bloggers with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, chasing after me, shouting 'You Serpent, you enticed us into reading absolute crap and made us waste our valuable time, time which we will never get back' or a more succinct 'Die pig, Die'

I know the Quality of the posts have been really bad, and I seem to be focusing more on quantity rather than quality, No More!. Nay, I shalt not torment thee any further. I hope what I post from now on shall be better.

I love Meta-humor, for example this post, I say that I will post better stuff from now on, yet this post itself is quite appallingly written.

Elkism #9 (which is also a variation on the 'Liar's Paradox',)

If you think all humans are ignorant, you might not be all that ignorant yourself - SiegerKranz Meer

----------------------------------------

Listening to Fire Dance - Mahesh Tinaikar

Funny Feminist Feelings

A friend recently told me this joke. I found it really funny, if you don't. I don't care :)
You could call the joke sexist, but then again, you could call God(If he did exist) a misogynyst. Proof ? :

labor pain.

Here goes.

Joke: How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Answer: None, because feminists can't change anything.

Makes me laugh every single time.
'Why! you are a very crass, crude, dirty, and stupid young man' do I hear you say ?
Maybe, maybe, if it is true, then there is no point in denying it. It also does not change the fact that it is a funny joke.

So prompted by this, I decided to do a little research on this whole gender war thing. I never expected it to be so much fun. It is also the reason that my posts recently been more towards this topic.

Here is an advertisement for a department store, which Feminists claim is misogynistic, as far as I see, it maybe seen as sexist to either of the sexes, depending on your sympathies, here check it out because if you forget the whole sexism thing, it is a funny and clever little ad.



-------------------------------------

"What evidence do I have that women rule the world? Take a look at the world and ask yourself how it would be different if men were REALLY in charge. Look at the things that men want most, then check to see if the world is organized to provide those things or to limit them."

Scott Adams, The Dilbert Future, page 109

Ja mein Fuhrer!

Near Vikasini, there is a large empty plot where I park my car. While reversing out one day, I saw on the ground amidst dry grass, what I thought was a familiar figure. I got out of my car, and picked it up. It was a firecracker, obviously debris left over from last year's Diwali.

Big Deal!

Ok, So there is nothing even remotely interesting in that.
I hope the photo is a bit more interesting:






Anti-semitism means squat in India.

--------------------------------

Listening to Secret Prayer - J.Satriani

'For Once

See yourself as a god.
See how it feels to be one.
Hold a lesser being in the palm
and be your own god.
You shall then, see.

A smile escapes your face
as you realize how simple
of that which has eluded you
thus far. Peace.' - SiegerKranz Meer

The Friends

Apparently Self-Deprecation is a tell tale sign of an Inferiority Complex. Or so say the experts, who I would assume like the smell of their socks, after a long hard day's work, of telling people that they have feelings for their mothers coupled with terrifying repressed memories and how they are Fucked. Not that I have something against Freud and his Ilk, it is just that sometimes they can make a mountain out of a molehill. But as bill Hicks says 'ah, Fuck It, you know! Fuck It'. I, on the other hand say that if you can't make fun of yourself, you are screwed in life buddy.
Because, then every failure is an embarrassing memory to be suppressed. A bunch of failures and poof! you are on your way to buying a long length of rope, a stool and some Sticky tape. I mean how awesome is it when someone is actually proud of his lameness ? Observe:

Elkism #7

I am so lame! That girls run away in fear at the sheer sight of my approaching them and the guys do too, lest some of the lameness rub off on them. Boy! think of what might happen to their hard earned 'image'.

Voila! So simple.
You can't see me, but I do have a wide grin on my face right now.

I had planned on introducing 2 new characters, here they are, apparently they are latin, bored, based on people I know, silly, and like getting stoned.

Act I

cæruleus:Hey Victorus, will you promise me, that you will go to these places, and try to meet women, If I tell you to ? I know this great toga party happening at the forum while I am away on my trip to Sparta. You should definitely go.

Victorus: Yes, I will take my Imaginary friend here (raises hand as if to keep hand on imaginary friend's shoulder) and go 'woman' hunting.

cæruleus; Stop that man, it is not funny, it is pathetic. You can't go anywhere without company, you are shit scared of women, I know you are going to be 50, alone, jacking off thinking about a chick while going 'I know she is not worth it , but I am going to jack off on her anyway'.

Victorus: Hehe! Yeah, and the worst part is that I know that that may very well be what will happen to me, and yet it doesn't bother me.

cæruleus: Whatever man, let us go drink some wine from a big amphora.

-----------------------------------

Listening to Lalitha Sahasranamam - M.S.Subbalakshmi

'Maybe, someday you can be a tree-frog
yesterday you weren't so tree-frog like' - Opening lines from a song we wrote . Needless to say we were stoned.

Me, you, and some beer.

I plan on introducing 2 characters, and along with my 'Elkisms' I intend to make these my 'signature' posts, The 'Elkisms' are what I call 'truthoids', stuff which is true yet, something which no one talks about.
Whereas, the two characters will help me say what I want to without my having to resort to boring old prose.

Since I do not have any material to write today, I shall leave you with this:

Am Watching you.

-------------------------

Listening to 'What need have I for this,What need I have for that,I am dancing at the feet of the lord, All is bliss, all is bliss.' - Shakti

Egalitarian Reprise.

Hey there! here is another one of my useless lists, useless because the people whom it is meant for, will never umm... read it.

You know you have become a fascist when:

1) You force people to do things, because YOU 'think' it is in their best interest.

2) You have a "motto" in life, especially so if it is a song.

3) You believe in the death penalty.

4) You hate People with a different viewpoint. think: 'gay','hippies','abortion' etc.

5) You think that you are the best in everything you do, and that others can never match you.

6) You Feel pity for the Downtrodden. (They don't need our pity, they need a better system)

7) You think businessmen who take the country "forward" are great men.

8) You are any of these: Fervent Patriot, an MCP, a Feminist, belong to any sort of society, Racist, believe in god, Politician, Lawyer, or Me.

9) You make of fun of any aspect of someone's bad fortune\personality\appearance especially when it is congenital.

10) You write a list, denouncing people as Fascists, put it up on your crappy blog and trick people into reading it by not putting up a disclaimer.

------------------------------------

Listening to La dance du bonheur - Shakti

'Just let me be a lazy, lousy bum' - SK Meer

Send me pictures.

Here is something I had written a long time back. It is a poem, I remembered it while writing my previous post. Luckily I had stored it on my system. It has similar despair driven lines, I hope it doesn't put you off. Dedicated to the many 2 people who usually take the time to comment. You know who you are.


Gloria.

Even blistering pain feels better than the silence of death.
An unwavering gaze at so insignificant a scene.
He tells a story of lives past and beautiful mystery
And she will leave, as she always does.

He lies awake at night, to try and feel the misery.
There is not a soul he can turn to.
A flurry of notes, pale and tinged with sorrow.
A solitary tear trickles down his cheek and glimmers.

He dreads leaving her, to face the odds alone.
Wishes he could make a fair trade, A fare trade.
Despair, it won't work! A man dances in glee.
So he lies, and tries to buy some time.

The others. They say 'yes', he still has some hope!
'Hope, God, redemption, Happin...wait, it can't be. '
Its too good to be true. Then they laugh, and he rages
They knew all along. They pitied his stupidity.

And lo behold!, She was gone.
And lo behold!, She was gone again.


-----------------------------

Listening to Spitleaf - Zero

'I have a magnetic personality, I repel women.' - SiegerKranz Meer