Odd time signatures

and how to play 'em

This is apparently a tutorial, but it kinda makes no sense, but I know the two[one if don't count me] people who read my blog, so it doesn't really matter. Does it Slipperyreflections?

And excuse my roomie, he goes a little hyper when he is about to go out clubbing.



Tool on an acoustic! and they said it can't be done. HA!

Cut and Bag it or how to write a chetan bhagat 'novel'

Chethan bhagat has come out with his fifth book called 'The Three Trashketeers - What not to pick up from the garbage dumpster' a story about 3 close friends who live in the slums of Mumbai and collect garbage for a living.

The story is written from the point of view of Ramesh 'Ramu' Shyambenegalkar, a brilliant garbage collector who rummages through the garbage in a large bombay slum, the best slum of its kind in India and who has inherited his fathers talent in finding valuable knickknacks in seemingly steaming piles of garbage. His friends John Behari and Manav provide him with company and help him win the heart of gauri, the local rag picker who happens to be his boss' daughter. While the tone of the novel is humorous, it takes some dark turns every now and then, especially when it comes to the families of the main characters.

In response to the fight the author had with the fine tweeple who follow him on twitter, he has decided to offer this book free of charge as a download-able e-book. To which his 'Fans' replied 'Meh.'

A new Hindi Movie starring, believably, Amir Khan as the 16 year old Ramu, has been released with a story line that is vaguely similar to the new book but bhagat has denied any such authorization of what is clearly a contender for the next Booker of Bookers prize. There is expected to be a lot of crying, swearing and 'blocking' in the near future with regards to this controversy.

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This is obviously a parody, if you can't get that, tell your mom you got screwed over by her.

Who art thou ?

The Feedjit widget at the bottom of the page is how I keep track of the visitors to my site, though its grossly inaccurate sometimes. I see about 1000 visits since I put up the counter on my blog, though about 900 of those hits must be mine :D
I know 4 people who regularly visit from 1) Arlington, 2) Worcester 3) Surat(Though sometimes its registers as Ahmedabad for some reason) and 4) um... Ok, So I know 3 people.
I occasionally see hits from Bombay, but I do not know who that is.

What I am basically saying is that I would like to know who all visit this lame ass blog of mine, I would be grateful if you could spend a moment of your precious time to write me a comment.

So could you ? Pretty Please ?

3AM and not a wink in sight :(
Sigh!

I!

==Warning==

Disclaimer ahead.

==Disclaimer==

It is a sad situation that all of my posts need a disclaimer. So go ahead read the disclaimer;

Okay, here is a post, otherwise known as a 'vanity post', where one describes oneself in flattering words, which is being posted here, by me, under the laughable assumption that readers would be interested in finding out more about me.

So, if you are put off by pompous pontification, blatant fabrication, quixotic fantasies, or outrageous blasphemies, (well... Ok, maybe there won't be any blasphemy here, I just made the last one up for the rhyme.) I'd suggest you not waste your time by reading any further.

I usually, never reveal these, but I am a little high right now, and will regret putting this up a little later, but I am trying to be a normal human and this is my first step

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The actual Post.

Things you probably didn't know about me:

1) I feel detached from everything, and often I forget who I am for a short while, I feel like I am watching myself from a distance, after having floated out of my body, I guess this is what makes existentialism so interesting for me.

2) I can read and write Arabic! yeah I can :( I don't know why.
ﻮﻳﺨﺖ ﺴﺎﻏﺮ (my name)

3) I have the will power of a kid in a candy store, yet I went from smoking 2 packs of smokes per day to just once a week, cold turkey. Nope, no withdrawal symptoms yet

4) I have never gone for a single guitar class in my life, I guess it shows, Haha, no, seriously, I am pretty good! (I am not usually this confident, and I had to force myself to write the last line, but I am trying to be funny, so it doesn't matter.)

5) We opened for Motherjane in CREC, Calicut =)

6) When it comes to women, I still think that one day, someone will recognize my shyness for what it is, and not mistake it for arrogance. Well, there is another fanciful idea that will never come true.

7) I like helping people even if I know they won't be thankful, maybe being a martyr of sorts gets me off, a little.

8) I always try to be the last to reply, in a conversation, check the comments on this blog, they are usually even in number, unless I have replied to 2 at the same time, because I find it rude to not reply.

9) After watching 'My Sassy Girl', Pachelbel's Canon in D major makes me sad, every time I hear it. Its true.

10) If you have read till here, congrats, you have more patience then I will ever have, I will stop here, for I don't want to bore you.(Talk about wishful thinking!)
bye
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Listening to '3 Libras (Acoustic) ' - A Perfect Circle and hoping I don't make a fool of myself.

!

This is a story of my childhood. It still haunts my parents it seems, or at least that is what they claim, though I sometimes feel it was a plan of their's foiled by my 'lightning fast reflexes' and 'mercurial thinking'. Or maybe not.
I was 7, and my sister was 5. We used to live in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia back then.
It was the weekend, a Friday! and we were on on our 'weekly family shopping spree' a must for all Indians there, for the lack of a better way to spend free time.
I used to hate it. I hate shopping. Shopping is the reason I feel the devil exists. It is the most boring human activity possible.
On our way to Al-Khobar from Dammam, which is a bit like going from Secunderabad to Hyderabad, we bought some Ice-Cream. I finished mine soon, as always. My dad then stops his car by the side of a big mall. We had to return a lamp shade or something there, I knew this was on the agenda because I would always overhear my parents talking and I had heard them talk. So I ask my sister to get out and then step out of the vehicle. She is a bit slow, she is still savoring her Ice-cream, as always.

I and my sister, we wait for my dad to kill the engine and the parents to step out of the car...

"Something's wrong, it is taking them too long !"

"Hey what is this ???"

"My dad is driving off ???"

"He is really driving off !!! "

"Is this some kind of a joke ? Have they forgotten that they have kids ? Maybe they didn't like my dismal performance at school."

"Holy shit, my sis is with me!"

What has she done ?

"Wait, should I scream ?"

No use. Let's see, sis is still busy with the ice cream. She has no clue.

'Hey! where are they ?'

She looks around,
she realizes !
she doesn't want the ice cream anymore.

She starts crying.

I tell her to drop the cup and run !
She resists, she wants to cry. She wants mommy back.

I can't think. I feel I have no other option. This is not my country, I do not know Arabic. I was afraid of strangers, especially the 'chocolate offering' kind. I have to chase after them. I hold her hand, and run in the direction that they went in. I beg her to run. They have taken a turn to the right, they are stopped in front of the mall, a car is next to them, we must have run what felt like a 'mile', I really do not remember how far we ran.
My sister is crying her eyes out, I am dragging her, I don't want to get back without her, they'll fucking kill me if I arrive without my sister.
I am 7 for crying out loud! I am not ready for this kind of responsibility, hell I STILL ain't.
Somehow, they have stopped, thank god!

They are expecting us. I don't know that I am supposed to be angry at them. I am just happy to have found them again.

Apparently, they had a change of plan for some reason at the last moment and decided to get back later. They hadn't realized that the kids(us) had gotten out. They were busy savoring the Ice cream. A bunch of Saudi kids had seen us being left behind. They had caught up to my parents, in their car, yelling 'Where kids ? Where kids ?' at my parents.
That was when they turned back and saw us missing.
That was when I arrived, carrying my sister.(well, the last few meters at least.)

Do I have the best parents in the world or what :S

True, down to the last word.
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Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. -Robert Fulghum

Deus Ex.

cæruleus: Hey did you see this play 'om pax pacis om' ?

Victorus: Nah ! I hate that writer.

cæruleus: No man, you should watch this one. It is good

Victorus: It is easy to be popular nowadays man, I have a great idea for a play.

cæruleus:yeah ?

Victorus: Yeah, all you got to do is write one on a subject which can't be criticized. say a retarded kid, or a Paraplegic Veteran. Something which people trying to act cool and appear sensitive, will want to watch. You know something which will make anyone, who criticizes it, look like an inconsiderate, uncouth, and insensitive brute.

cæruleus: Haha, yeah, and his friends will have a ball, criticizing his lack of sensitivity.

Victorus: There you go. SO then you make something bad happen to the character. Bring in a Patriarchal figure, you know... one who will guide the Retard and make a hero out of him. The feminists aren't to surface for a few hundred years anyway.

cæruleus: Hey! aren't you killing this dialogue with your anachronisms ?

Victorus: Aren't you breaking the fourth wall, a forbidden act, a non-sequitur ? you think the audience; the gods, will forgive you ?

cæruleus: Touche! pussy cat. But the gods are benevolent, One is a shade of Blue, she 'd care not for a non-sequitur, another is a circular snack eaten on a particular day apparently he doth manifest himself in me, Another is the sun, he is in transit.They observe, and they judge, but, he who controls us, is filthy, that is his name.

Victorus: Are you high ? Peyote ?

cæruleus: No, so go on.

Victorus: Yeah and then you make the retard overcome astronomical odds maybe add a Montage in there somewhere, and then the retard emerges victorious at the end. You will be able to fill an ocean with the tears you will make the audience churn out. And to top it off, give it a name which suggests many layers of depth like 'astro humus'* or something intangible and totally unrelated to the plot like 'niger'#

cæruleus: The public is stupid eh ?

Victorus: yup.

cæruleus: So, why don't you ?

Victorus: It's been done a million times already.

cæruleus: Hang on, waiter! another amphora please.

---Notes---
* Grammatically incorrect Latin for 'stars on the ground'
# Latin for 'Black'
Amphora: A vessel that people in Rome, keep wine in.
The writer wishes to say that he is not the kind of person to make fun of retarded people, he uses 'retard' here to signify how the ordinary man views them. As some 'thing' to have pity on. As if somehow, due to ill fortune, they deserve our contempt.

Me, you, and some beer.

I plan on introducing 2 characters, and along with my 'Elkisms' I intend to make these my 'signature' posts, The 'Elkisms' are what I call 'truthoids', stuff which is true yet, something which no one talks about.
Whereas, the two characters will help me say what I want to without my having to resort to boring old prose.

Since I do not have any material to write today, I shall leave you with this:

Am Watching you.

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Listening to 'What need have I for this,What need I have for that,I am dancing at the feet of the lord, All is bliss, all is bliss.' - Shakti