Thursday, May 22, 2008

Read this; true story!

The Greatest adventure of my life, well... Okay, the second most greatest adventure of my life.

Listen up people because what I am about to say will totally change the way you look at me as a person.

You know they say that the best things in life happen when you least expect them, well, this is one of those 'least expected' moments. It all began when I set out of my house, today evening, to buy myself a pack of Classic Milds. Little did I know that I would come the closest I have will ever come to actually hooking up with a woman\women, ever. I actually lost my conversation-ginity.

So on the way back, while walking toward my house, who should happen to stop next to me in a swanky, black, brand new BMW, choosing me out of the millions of other single guys walking on the road at the time? Two hot damsels in distress, apparently in need of my help in navigating through this constantly spinning carousel, a smörgåsbord of exhilarating experiences you puny mortals like to call 'life' a.k.a the mad bad world.

Swinging into action, I strove to quickly... as the cliched American characters in sitcoms often say- "bring it on"

I felt like a real life Adonis, Brad Pitt even, heck, I almost felt; White! (As in the race)

The one riding shotgun lowered her window and asked me in the sweetest voice ever, "Can you tell us how to get to this place called Aruna Enclave ?" I play it cool, take my time and try to recall where was it that I had heard this name before ? Oh yes, the conversation is taking place next to a HUGE signboard about 8 feet tall with the words 'Aruna Enclave' printed in big black bold letters on a ocher yellow background ? So I bring on the aforementioned 'it' and in the most casual way possible, say "Um, you see this board here ? It says turn left... I think you should turn left here ?"

A little giggling, embarrassed smiles and they took the left! How cool is that ? See, I am not that lame. I actually spoke to real women, yay!


The story would have kicked more ass if I didn't have to exaggerate a few details, like the 'sex' of the occupants of the car.

Yeah, I lied, they were male :(

And I was the only guy walking down the road on a hot summer day :(

And it was a beat up whiteTata Sumo :(

And yeah, I had to tell them how to take the left :(

And the guy sounded like he had just deep-throated some guy, he sounded like Casey Affleck. yuck, I think I am going to brush my ears now.

But, all was not wrong with the world because I think the signboard was totally taller than 8 feet :D

And ocher yellow ? Does it kick ass or what ?

I rule! Quite a quixotic adventure I must say.

And why do I feel that the 'gay' jokes will only get worse once I publish this ?

(Totally true story by the way.)


Divya said...

what's wrong with casey affleck eh? or his voice? you insensitive gay schizo! :P

JerryKantrell said...

I am not really sure but it is because it sounds like it is always so sore.

Divya said...

but that's cool... in a way... :D and he is hot, you have to agree!

JerryKantrell said...

I don't know if he is hot because I find most men repulsive, including myself haha.