dancing in the dark and a fugue in the fall

Warning: Graphic language in this post. Also, I might sound like I am gay-bashing, but let me assure you that I totally support their cause, and that I think they should be allowed to do what they want to do. or succinctly 'not gay but supportive' - a phrase I borrow form Demetri Martin. Civil liberties must never be impinged on. And, oh yeah, while I am at it; screw the government! and fuck Apple! as well.

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So there I was right? minding my own business, stumbling around, failing hard but failing quietly; unnoticed by anyone, well.. anyone who is a somebody at least, when all of a fucking sudden, out of the blue; bam! this person starts hitting on me.

What the fuck? I mean...wait a minute. This is surely not happening, not to me at least. I am not that guy, you know the guy that has this happen to him. Ever. I mean look at me, I can say such stuff without flinching or feeling the slightest bit of embarrassment, I am socially awkward and I look like crap.


What comes to mind when I think of 'being hit on' only, in real life; I am uglier and the woman is way shorter.

Well, if this is what it takes for me to experience female touch, right?


Typical reader's reaction to the previous comment of mine

So, here's the deal; the new sublet is basically an overgrown baby, he needs his elder brother to come and settle him in the new apartment, and this elder brother is the 'person'.

Wait. Let this sink in. So let me get this straight. The person. Who hit on me. Is. A. GUY, A MOTHERFUCKING GUY!!! OMFG this is fucking bullshit man. I mean I, like most people, like the odd bit of attention every now and then, but this is fucking ridiculous. I had consigned myself to the sidelines of everyday life, I like flying under the radar, going unnoticed is my specialty, so naturally I don't talk much to people and so the chance of being hit on is virtually nil. Now, this is fine by me, since I know that it ain't gonna happen, so I am content with my comics and my music and content being 'well known' among two or three friends, but then came along this dude like a real dude, with a dick! and he's hitting on me? This is some sort of cruel joke isn't it? and the worst part is that my gaydar is extremely under-developed which nicely segues us to the next part of my misadventure.

So, there he is showing too much interest in what I do, asking me to play the guitar for him, actually pretending to listen to my usual rapid-fire tutorial of progressive time signatures and the difference between Indian and Western musical instruments. and saying that I have a lot of hobbies pointing to the comic on my table and my skates on the ground. And I am all, 'wow, someone perceptive enough to notice all this, maybe I am finally getting the slight recognition I deserve' and that's when things got a little awkward, because right then my roomie sends me a ping on gtalk (from the next room) telling me that the dude is most probably gay and that is exactly when he comes and sits next to me; a little too close to me. So I hastily close my laptop lest he see that message and make up an excuse to leave the apartment.


My face when I realized what just happened.

With my rotten luck, I am even surprised I got worked up over this.

Lier [sic]

So this girl asks me 'Have you ever been on a date' (to the naysayers who can't believe that a girl would talk to me; she was just being polite. Also, I was distinctly aware of this fact while having this conversation with her)

And being a very bad liar who couldn't lie to save his own skin, I tell the truth.

I say 'No'

Which was not so bad because she was kind enough to 'defuse' my embarrassment by saying something.

This led me to think, that something must be done about this.

I wouldn't want to be in such an awkward situation again.

After giving it serious thought and by analyzing and weighing the various methods by which I might ameliorate the problem, I have come to a conclusion so as to how I shall fix this 'issue'.

Although, I am going in for the easiest option, It is not going to be easy, but it has to be done.

I have decided to learn how to lie and say 'Yes' in the future.

:D

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Listening to 'Brand New Start' - 'Alter Bridge'

The Friends

Apparently Self-Deprecation is a tell tale sign of an Inferiority Complex. Or so say the experts, who I would assume like the smell of their socks, after a long hard day's work, of telling people that they have feelings for their mothers coupled with terrifying repressed memories and how they are Fucked. Not that I have something against Freud and his Ilk, it is just that sometimes they can make a mountain out of a molehill. But as bill Hicks says 'ah, Fuck It, you know! Fuck It'. I, on the other hand say that if you can't make fun of yourself, you are screwed in life buddy.
Because, then every failure is an embarrassing memory to be suppressed. A bunch of failures and poof! you are on your way to buying a long length of rope, a stool and some Sticky tape. I mean how awesome is it when someone is actually proud of his lameness ? Observe:

Elkism #7

I am so lame! That girls run away in fear at the sheer sight of my approaching them and the guys do too, lest some of the lameness rub off on them. Boy! think of what might happen to their hard earned 'image'.

Voila! So simple.
You can't see me, but I do have a wide grin on my face right now.

I had planned on introducing 2 new characters, here they are, apparently they are latin, bored, based on people I know, silly, and like getting stoned.

Act I

cæruleus:Hey Victorus, will you promise me, that you will go to these places, and try to meet women, If I tell you to ? I know this great toga party happening at the forum while I am away on my trip to Sparta. You should definitely go.

Victorus: Yes, I will take my Imaginary friend here (raises hand as if to keep hand on imaginary friend's shoulder) and go 'woman' hunting.

cæruleus; Stop that man, it is not funny, it is pathetic. You can't go anywhere without company, you are shit scared of women, I know you are going to be 50, alone, jacking off thinking about a chick while going 'I know she is not worth it , but I am going to jack off on her anyway'.

Victorus: Hehe! Yeah, and the worst part is that I know that that may very well be what will happen to me, and yet it doesn't bother me.

cæruleus: Whatever man, let us go drink some wine from a big amphora.

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Listening to Lalitha Sahasranamam - M.S.Subbalakshmi

'Maybe, someday you can be a tree-frog
yesterday you weren't so tree-frog like' - Opening lines from a song we wrote . Needless to say we were stoned.