Thursday, May 27, 2010

dancing in the dark and a fugue in the fall

Warning: Graphic language in this post. Also, I might sound like I am gay-bashing, but let me assure you that I totally support their cause, and that I think they should be allowed to do what they want to do. or succinctly 'not gay but supportive' - a phrase I borrow form Demetri Martin. Civil liberties must never be impinged on. And, oh yeah, while I am at it; screw the government! and fuck Apple! as well.


So there I was right? minding my own business, stumbling around, failing hard but failing quietly; unnoticed by anyone, well.. anyone who is a somebody at least, when all of a fucking sudden, out of the blue; bam! this person starts hitting on me.

What the fuck? I mean...wait a minute. This is surely not happening, not to me at least. I am not that guy, you know the guy that has this happen to him. Ever. I mean look at me, I can say such stuff without flinching or feeling the slightest bit of embarrassment, I am socially awkward and I look like crap.

What comes to mind when I think of 'being hit on' only, in real life; I am uglier and the woman is way shorter.

Well, if this is what it takes for me to experience female touch, right?

Typical reader's reaction to the previous comment of mine

So, here's the deal; the new sublet is basically an overgrown baby, he needs his elder brother to come and settle him in the new apartment, and this elder brother is the 'person'.

Wait. Let this sink in. So let me get this straight. The person. Who hit on me. Is. A. GUY, A MOTHERFUCKING GUY!!! OMFG this is fucking bullshit man. I mean I, like most people, like the odd bit of attention every now and then, but this is fucking ridiculous. I had consigned myself to the sidelines of everyday life, I like flying under the radar, going unnoticed is my specialty, so naturally I don't talk much to people and so the chance of being hit on is virtually nil. Now, this is fine by me, since I know that it ain't gonna happen, so I am content with my comics and my music and content being 'well known' among two or three friends, but then came along this dude like a real dude, with a dick! and he's hitting on me? This is some sort of cruel joke isn't it? and the worst part is that my gaydar is extremely under-developed which nicely segues us to the next part of my misadventure.

So, there he is showing too much interest in what I do, asking me to play the guitar for him, actually pretending to listen to my usual rapid-fire tutorial of progressive time signatures and the difference between Indian and Western musical instruments. and saying that I have a lot of hobbies pointing to the comic on my table and my skates on the ground. And I am all, 'wow, someone perceptive enough to notice all this, maybe I am finally getting the slight recognition I deserve' and that's when things got a little awkward, because right then my roomie sends me a ping on gtalk (from the next room) telling me that the dude is most probably gay and that is exactly when he comes and sits next to me; a little too close to me. So I hastily close my laptop lest he see that message and make up an excuse to leave the apartment.

My face when I realized what just happened.

With my rotten luck, I am even surprised I got worked up over this.

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