Thursday, October 03, 2013

Pappu bangaya somewhat of a man - Part 1

Rahul 'Pappu' Gandhi. Jesus Christ is he a godsend!!! Damn, John Kennedy Toole of the A Confederacy of Dunces fame couldn't have thought of a more buffoonish character. It's like one day Pappu sat up fresh from having turned 40 a while back and had an epiphany, 'Mein... Mein ek leader ka bachcha hoon, my mummy is a leader yaar, she said so herself, I need to look at the big picture, nahi mein kar ke rahoonga, I need to think in terms of the 30 thousand metre[sic] level, I need to visualize the energy of my being, and I need to see myself in my pants, in my shirt, in my retainer, in the mirror, everywhere!'

Notwithstanding the rapacious and not so well-intentioned ribbing that I gave pappu, he agreed to speak with me, probably because his mummy wasn't there to explain the concepts of sarcasm and irony that I laced my 'compliments' with and because mummy also told him that he needs to get out more and not stick to choreographed and what I like to call drive-by-speech-performances all the time. The mangoes in the country are beginning to get suspicious.

When asked about pappu's recent theatrics in what is lovingly being called the R-Bomb, he had this to say: ' Arre, what is the power of mummy? You go to Rajpath, and people are dancing around as per her commands, you go to 7 RCR and there is Mannu uncle who usually just lays about and even he is dancing to her tune, that is the power of mummy. And mummy wants to show this power to every Indian, not some, not many but All Indians. She said pappu bete, you are growing up now, you must learn to go beyond mummy's frock pallu. People have realized that you are indecisive and spineless and are now calling that to your face. We need to stop this. So she told me that Mannu Uncle will be forced to support an unpopular bill that I will have to gate crash a press conference and publicly ridicule. Then she will ask it to be withdrawn. Two birds with one stone. And mummy said that I didn't have to worry about any negative repercussions because of something called the duck sauce effect or something like that.'


Links for the following here:

Barbra Streisand
A Confederacy of Dunces

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