Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Pappu reverts to being not smarter than a fifth grader (previous over-optimistic title: Pappu bangaya somewhat of a gentleman Part 2)

Rahul is once again in the news for his latest comment which goes something along the lines of : "Dalits need to have the escape velocity of Jupiter for success."

What he probably meant to say is that people from the Dalit community need to work harder than someone who is not in order to escape their poverty. It is a sort of Glass ceiling that keeps the 'dalit man down' (Please read the last sentence in a faux black person Robert Downey Jr. accent ) I wonder how the cackling Feminists in India feel about Pappu appropriating this concept for his own poorly-executed-metaphor-ical benefit?

Alas for poor Pappu, between forming his sentences in a coherent manner, understanding the jumps in thought from the metaphysical to the real and back again, and the black hole sized void of self-doubt and loathing he indubitably feels as a result of seeing almost a billion people constantly mocking his lack of any discernible mental acumen, must make giving speeches a humongous ordeal for the nanha munna bachcha.

File photo of Pappu and Mummy (circa Sept 2013)

Man, I'd love to know and feel the existential angst someone in his position must feel. Remember that scene from Amadeus where Salieri talks about wanting to sing to God yet being denied the talent to do so? Would I not be echoing others thoughts too when I say I'd love to hear the following inner monologue in Pappu's head?

All I wanted was to impress Mummy and to become fit to rule this country. She gave me that longing... and then made me a complete imbecile. Why? Tell me that. If She didn't want me to run the country, why implant the desire? Like a lust in my body! And then deny me the talent?
Alas, we neither have the technology to snoop in on other peoples' thoughts nor can we kid ourselves into thinking the future PM can even hope to understand let alone think the above thoughts.

So, anyway, coming back to the metaphor, he wanted a large mass as the higher the mass, the greater the Terminal Velocity, but why settle for Jupiter and not something even more massive? Like V Y Canis Majoris or... Mummy's Swiss Bank Account?

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