Saturday, November 15, 2008


Now, if there is one thing that I have learned from Carlin, it is that often the best way to get rid of a problem is to turn it into an opportunity. No, this is not a motivational gimmick that dying professors or successful salesmen give to the gullible, it is a practical solution to many of the world's problems, alas it does have a flaw. The flaw being that in many of the situations where it can be utilized, the solution tends to shock most people due to its sheer audacity and irreverence toward accepted norms.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Now, we all know that our country is far from secular. We also know that I have a certain disdain for religion that is only matched by my disdain for pop music and Hindi movies. So let us try to combine these two to get an interesting resolution to this pet peeve of mine.

It is rumored that there is a mythical entity that resides in the internets called 'bloggers against communalism' or something similarly shitty like that, which is basically a circle jerk of these annoying little creatures that I like to call 'The self appointed guardians of the status quo.' The status quo here being the mentality that seems to think religion is good, and that life is precious and that all people and children are special [obviously these morons need a reeducation on that topic for they lack the basic knowledge of that very word's definition] and that it is our duty to protect human life because apparently humans think that humans are special.

What a Fucking Surprise! Really, so you mean to say that we have here; a group that claims itself to be better than the rest ? who woulda thunk that ? I think I can hear my brain melt from the sheer awesomeness of that revelation.

Hey mom, pop, did you hear that ? I am Special!

So anyway, this mythical beast is supposedly a group of people that wants to eradicate communalism. It is here that we shall apply the lesson that Carlin has thought us.

I say fuck that shit man. You know what? these various religious groups claim to be better than the other, and go to war over this issue bombing random people to Valhalla and raping others to kingdom come. Instead of trying to stop this obviously beneficial natural occurrence, I say let these bozos kill each other.

Why stop there ? let us designate an area of say 10 acres as No Man's land, where the laws of the land are temporarily or permanently suspended, send these various people like the Hindus and the Moslems and the Christians there, and watch them kill, maim, torture, butcher, annihilate each other to death, we could tape that shit and sell DVDs all over the world. The Japanese have Hentai and Anime, the French have their musicals, the Romans had their gladiatorial games, the Americans have their Hardcore pornography, let us have our own little cultural innovation: Filmed real life Combat. The Adult version of Battle Royale, like a non pornographic version of snuff films. It would be a huge hit I tell you.

Once there is only a single group left, we continue the process further. For the sake of simplicity[just because I am aware of the sections within it], let us assume that the Hindus have triumphed. We don't want to stop there now do we ? We then ask the shaivites to war against the vaishnavites, and once that is done, the upper castes versus the lower castes, and then the individual castes against one another, then the adults versus the children, and then the men versus the women, and so on, if you catch the drift. Until we find the person who remains; the one with the biggest dick apparently and then shoot that motherfucker in his or her fucking face. How about that huh ? The entertainment value of such a proposition is astronomical.

And if you are wondering where we fit in in all of this, GTFO of my blog.

There we have it. Everyone I am happy.


ashwinxn said...


JerryKantrell said...

hehe, yeah, I tried to be all western and shit :)