Served hot

So I wrote a satirical piece starring god, satan and a prophet, but I am not able to finish it, I call it unwriter's block. I am going to give it a day, and if I can't finish it, I shall post it as it is.

Great! but what do I write about, in this post ?

Oh, I know...


My favorite stand-up comedians.

I started off listening to the stand up comedy of David Cross, and Patton Oswalt, etc, who are good, but their comedy is very 'time' dependent and loses its charm as the days elapse, it is more specific regarding events and places, and is not as generic as the 3 classic acts that are described below.

You will see, that the comedians I have written about here have one thing in common, their work is overwhelmingly sarcastic and shows disdain toward society, and all of the pitfalls of modern life. They dislike me and you, and are not afraid to make fun of either of us.

1) Bill Hicks
I happened to come across the late great Bill Hicks and his phenomenal work while crawling through the net long ago, his routines are as relevant today as they were when he was performing them all those years ago. If Bill Hicks would have been alive today, he would have kicked my ass for using his name here, and would have insulted my ancestors and me for making up this stupid list. He was a bad-ass motherfucker, and deserves all my respect.
Listen to Bill Hicks and you will hear what a man who is truly speaking his mind sounds like.


Here is a sample quote of his;

"The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: Is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey“ don't worry, don't be afraid ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people. "Shut him up. We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up. Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."

--Bill Hicks

2) George Carlin
Another misanthropic hero, he is not as bitter as Bill, and focuses a bit on language and other bad habits of humanity such as 'euphemisms', 'cliches' 'religion' etc... as well, he is a rank below Bill Hicks for his mainstream respectability.


A sample quote of his;

"Religion easily has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money. "

--George Carlin

3) Lenny Bruce
The man who showed the world that comedy CAN be something more than just 'you know you are a redneck if...' and Yo Momma jokes.
The man who showed the world that intelligent humor can be funny too, and in fact it is often funnier than dick jokes and other crap that today's 'comedians' like Pablo Francesco and Dane Cook, [people who would no doubt been called 'mediocre hacks' by Bill Hicks, If he didn't punch them in the stomach and kick their balls in first], call jokes.
The man who showed what 'freedom of speech' in a truly modern society means. Observe;


"Are there any niggers here tonight? Could you turn on the house lights, please, and could the waiters and waitresses just stop serving, just for a second? And turn off this spot. Now what did he say? "Are there any niggers here tonight?" I know there's one nigger, because I see him back there working. Let's see, there's two niggers. And between those two niggers sits a kike. And there's another kike— that's two kikes and three niggers. And there's a spic. Right? Hmm? There's another spic. Ooh, there's a wop; there's a polack; and, oh, a couple of greaseballs. And there's three lace-curtain Irish micks. And there's one, hip, thick, hunky, funky, boogie. Boogie boogie. Mm-hmm. I got three kikes here, do I hear five kikes? I got five kikes, do I hear six spics, I got six spics, do I hear seven niggers? I got seven niggers. Sold American. I pass with seven niggers, six spics, five micks, four kikes, three guineas, and one wop. Well, I was just trying to make a point, and that is that it's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness. Dig: if President Kennedy would just go on television, and say, "I would like to introduce you to all the niggers in my cabinet," and if he'd just say "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" to every nigger he saw, "boogie boogie boogie boogie boogie," "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" 'til nigger didn't mean anything anymore, then you could never make some six-year-old black kid cry because somebody called him a nigger at school.

- Lenny Bruce: Swear to tell the truth 1998