Sunday, June 08, 2008

PeeView

Now, I have written some really bad reviews in the past. There is nothing that I can do about those, but I am not going to write any more reviews; to stop myself from acting like a pretentious cock and forcing my opinion down your um... er... ??? well, it doesn't matter.

You might have stumbled upon this site called pitchfork media, which has by far the largest concentration of gay reviewers outside of say, a gay porn review site. And at least the porn reviewers have a reason to behave that way. You know what, it is better if you read the reviews yourself, Here is one such review which is so annoying, that you'll want to reach through the internet tubes and stab me in the face for making you read the piece of putrid horse crap that it is. The reviews on this site are so bland and annoying that they will make you start hating even your favorite bands, In fact after reading this, I never want to listen to another Radiohead album ever again.

With lines such as "This is an emotional, psychological experience. Kid A sounds like a clouded brain trying to recall an alien abduction" or this god-awful-simile-laden gem of a sentence "The primal, brooding guitar attack of "Optimistic" stomps like mating Tyrannosaurs" or this one, the line which trumps all else hands down: "It's an album of sparking paradox. It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 48 minutes", phew the sheer originality of that line is mind boggling! The only adjective missing is 'poignant' and we would have been obliged to give the author the Nobel peace prize, for that sentence alone would single handedly bring peace to the entire world and solve Africa's food problems due to its sheer awesomeness.

Have you swallowed something poisonous and need to induce vomiting ?
or do you need an abortion and there isn't a coat hanger nearby, or maybe you just want to bleed from your eyes and go completely insane, if any of this is for you, then just read the article or any other article on the said site, and your problems are all history.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, also, sorry for that boing boing link, I hate that shite site too, it is just that I am too lazy to search for a better one, and that was the first result that Google threw at me when I typed 'internet tubes'.

18 comments:

Divya said...

lol, i've read the exact same article about radiohead as part of my music project research! i'd bookmarked it cause it was a once in a lifetime article! it hurts my brain to even look at it! :D

thesilentq said...

ha ha the best line was definitely: The human part of me wept in awe. hideously hilarious.

JerryKantrell said...

I can't believe that you could read through the whole thing.

it should have been:

"the human part of me...blah blah while the moron part went ahead and wrote this piece of crap"

thesilentq said...

i skimmed :D

or 'pretentious need to use at least five big words per sentence' part of me...

JerryKantrell said...

Yeah! :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks very nice blog!
Here is my blog : naked teens

Anonymous said...

I've been browsing online greater than 3 hours these days, but I never discovered any interesting article like yours. It is lovely value sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the net will probably be much more useful than ever before.
Feel free to surf my web-site : free porn

Anonymous said...

I have read so many articles or reviews regarding the blogger lovers
except this piece of writing is genuinely a good paragraph, keep it up.
Feel free to visit my web site : Hardcore sex party with anal for hot gal

Anonymous said...

It's perfect time to make some plans for the future and it's time to be
happy. I've read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read even more things about it!
my web page - Teens Free Porn

Anonymous said...

Hello, all the time i used to check weblog posts here early in the
morning, since i love to learn more and more.
Review my blog : Amu Kosaka Japanese teen is fucked from behind

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading it, you could be a great author.

I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will come back later on.
I want to encourage continue your great work, have a
nice weekend!
Feel free to surf my blog :: naked teens

Anonymous said...

I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. Such clever work and reporting!

Keep up the very good works guys I've you guys to my blogroll.
My site :: teen porn

Anonymous said...

Hey are using Wordpress for your blog platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm
trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any coding knowledge to make your own blog?

Any help would be really appreciated!
Also visit my webpage free teen porn

Anonymous said...

What's up, yeah this article is genuinely nice and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging. thanks.
Feel free to surf my web site - Blackberry Anitvirus

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love your blog and find almost all
of your post's to be just what I'm looking for.
Would you offer guest writers to write content
for yourself? I wouldn't mind creating a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome web site!
my webpage: gagner de l'argent

Anonymous said...

Wow, this post is nice, my sister is analyzing
these kinds of things, so I am going to inform her.
My site eomc gear

Anonymous said...

Keep on writing, great job!
Stop by my web page :: top friv games

Anonymous said...

Malaysia & Singapore & brunei ideal internet blogshop for wholesale & quantity korean add-ons, accessories,
earstuds, locket, rings, hair, bracelet & trinket add-ons.
Promotion 35 % wholesale discount. Ship Worldwide
my site :: Malaysia wholesale korean accessories shop