Thursday, June 26, 2008

Ooh look! a girl, lets go molest her.

Warning: This article is filled with extreme sarcasm, please try not to misunderstand my message. Thanks.

The Indian Zeitgeist; so wonderful, so beautiful, so egalitarian, and with so much respect for the fairer sex! Yes, we are gentlemen, we treat the women in this country like the goddesses that they are, and provide them with a non sexist environment for them to thrive in.
(Yes, and I am Chuck Norris's death defying roundhouse kick that is so awesome that I have become both self-aware and computer literate)

or so the country's 'khadi' clad politicians would like you to believe. Because not wearing Khadi is anti-Indian and is also a nod to the evil British empire that gave us such horrors such as the Education system, the English language; the only thing which allows us to trump the Chinese, Public Transport, Rail, etc.

I live in Hyderabad, one of the cities that had an objection to the "objectification" of women in the form of skimpy clothed cheerleaders, thereby necessitating a more sober (skin covering) dress every time they stepped out here with their pom-poms to salaciously entice the sex-starved young men in our country albeit without the added benefit of cleavage, Cleavage; which would certainly make things a lot more easier for the girls. Mmm Cleavage!

This is the country of Sita and others famous women whose names I cannot remember right now. And this is also the country where people like to get drunk climb on to their bikes and feel up women traveling in rickshaws. Yeah, you read that right, I know of an incident involving women friends of a friend, where this actually happened.

I hope you are aware of other harmless Indian pastimes such as 'throw acid on your unrequited love' or 'kill the girl child' or 'kill the bitch for the sake of honor' or 'rape the tourist chick because she is asking for it'

So basically, wearing revealing dresses as a means of livelihood is totally against our "culture" but feeling up women who are minding their own business is perfectly acceptable. Maybe they should make frotteurism the national sport, we fucking suck at Hockey anyway, I bet a special school U-16 woman's hockey team from Malaysia could beat our national team, although they would probably get felt up too.

Now, the Germans are not the most beloved people in the world by any standard, but do you remember that fucked up asshole whose dad was some big-shot in Orissa, who raped a female German tourist and then fled bail only to have his father make a mockery of the Indian Justice system by blatantly lying about his involvement in the escape of his errant son right on National television ?

We screwed over the Germans man!, we screwed over the people who screwed the whole world over twice! I feel so good to be an Indian Male right now, you have no clue.

And, now the Arushi murder case that has all the sheeple of this great modern country riveted to their seats and their eyes glued to the News these days. I must say that teh Media has done pretty well for itself. They have turned real life into a Soap Opera. Poe says something about truth and fiction and their comparative strangeness, these guys decided to go ahead and prove the man right, and also ended up making some money in the process. Bravo! Be these Spin wizards?

And how about this; they say that her social conduct was not appropriate, maybe it means that it was against the Oh-so-perfect Indian 'culture' you know... maybe she was not in the habit of letting random strangers feel her up. Maybe she was under the mistaken belief that women are 'people' too. Preposterous! What's next ? Women getting a say in their marriage plans ? BULLSHIT.


Anonymous said...

`its funny but real..Thx for the word "Frotteurism"

Anonymous said...

the best line
"I bet a special school U-16 woman's hockey team from Malaysia could beat our national team, although they would probably get felt up too."

JerryKantrell said...

haha yeah thanks anon :D
How is miss Gym ?

Anonymous said...

Gym is busy somewhere else ; )