Tuesday, September 30, 2008

out in smoke.

Anbumani Ramadoss is a man of many talents. His ability to convert abstract concepts into tangible reality is nothing short of astonishing.

And If you are a fan of irony like I, you'll love him, oh bee-tee-dubya he is the union health minister of our country. [hate to say this, but I am gonna miss dubya, and those awesome bushisms]

Yes, I am talking about the new law which bans smoking in public places, wherein one is not allowed to smoke in the following places: shopping malls, cinema halls, public/private work places, hotels, banquet halls, discotheques, canteens, coffee houses, pubs, bars, airport lounges and railway stations. Only.

[You'd almost think he has a personal vendetta against the humble cigarette.]


Pictured: Mug Shot of culprits who ran away with said minister's wife.

So what's left ? its like selling bullets in a land where guns are outlawed. anyway, your home, and the road are apparently alright to smoke in. But I can't smoke at home, so the only place left for me to smoke is the road.

Anyway, for the more conforming of you, this is a good thing right ?
Before you come to a judgment, consider this:

It is now illegal to smoke in a pub full of people who got there exclusively to smoke, drink and have a conversation with their friends and acquaintances. But, it is perfectly legal to walk around on the road, a convenience utilized by everyone except those with superpowers that enable them to fly, and blow smoke onto the faces of pregnant women, paraplegics, asthma sufferers, old people, infants and other sensitive individuals who just might happen to be unlucky enough to be walking about in your vicinity, while minding their own business, and staying the fuck away from pubs because that is where they think the smoker scum likes to settle.

I, however, am biased; being a smoker, I naturally revolt at this curtailment in my freedom, it may actually be what the non-smokers want though. Judging from the looks that I evoke from people when a whiff of smoke from my cigarette accidentally drifts their way, I would imagine that they feel like they just inhaled a hot steamy draft of flatulence straight from the devil's rear after a scrumptious meal of eggs, beans, and super spicy Mexican food. But as Bill Hicks says: Too bad they get the second hand smoke that smells so bad, because the stuff that we are taking in tastes so good.

Another one of his talents that I shall talk about today is his ability to magically create statistics. Out of thin air, like an expert conjurer, he effortlessly plucks them from the imaginary ether that permeates the air around accomplished douchebags. Granted, I haven't really verified whether these numbers are correct or not, but they seem too absurd to be accurate, and Karbage is NOT a news blog. The emphasis is on subjective analysis with an as-I-like-to-call-it hippy bent. So if I have made a mistake; too bad for you.

Ramadoss said 40 per cent of deaths occur in India due to tobacco related diseases while two-third of deaths occur due to smoking, junk foods and usage of drugs.


I challenge you to make sense of this statement.



4 comments:

Divya said...

oh yes! what a bummer! was irritating the brit ppl about us being a free country and how we can smoke anywhere, that's come tumbling down!

at least it won't be freezing to go outside for a smoke.

gutterflower said...

Meh such things should be beyond their jurisdiction. So many things should be. But hes a decent man, ramadoss.

JerryKantrell said...

@divya now it will be sweltering outside.

@gutterflower hey, long time no see, I see that you left blogspot.

I feel that they should just ban smoking in its entirety, this is hypocrisy, they sell them, collect tax, and then they don't let you smoke them.

Divya said...

@gutterflower hehe yes! but dehydration's better than hypothermia :D