Tuesday, May 13, 2008


It's good to finally see the jobless people in Bombay Mumbai, being productive for once, by demanding that every reference to 'Bombay' ever made be changed to 'Mumbai', they seem to have finally had the balls to tackle one of the real issues that the city faces, as opposed to say pollution or overcrowding, the menace of Bollywood or even Ekta Kapoor.

Last night I saw the brave soldiers of Mumbai risking life and limb in their valiant effort to subdue and destroy the scourge that doth plague-th the city; The plastic sign outside the Bombay Dyeing office.

I was able to find a photograph taken sometime last year where the hideous Bombay Dyeing Monster can be easily seen, desecrating the otherwise pristine river bank in Mumbai and terrorizing the friendly denizens of the city which is reportedly rich in Indian history.

Also seen in the background are neat clean Un-Indian apartment blocks, another legacy of the British that must be destroyed at once!

Where would we be without the brave souls who valiantly laid down their dignity for us ?

In fact as a staunch supporter of the cause I believe that we mustn't stop there, I propose that we build a time machine in order to go back in time and replace every instance of Bombay ever uttered\printed\sung\mimed\thought with the obviously more Indian; 'Mumbai'

Imagine the guy who sang the song with a gun to his head being made to sing, instead, the corrected phrase : 'Yeh hai Mumbai meri jaan' Ooooh how that tingles mein patriotic Balls!

After that, I suggest we go to war with any nation that insists on calling the dish 'Bombay Duck' and not the Indianized 'Mumbai Duck', why stop there ? after our glorious nation accomplishes that, I propose that we force the other nations to stop calling the door where they release the bombs in bombers the 'Bomb Bay' and instead call it the Mumb bay.

A little later, words like Carpet Mumb, Atom Mumb, Nuclear Mumb etc., shall be the accepted norm.

As a certain mono-balled Teutonic man once said:

Es ist zeit für rache!

Look out world, here we come.

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