Thursday, August 23, 2007

Barney the lucky dog!

I have a colleague, about whom I am not too fond.
I will not name him as some of my friends who read this shit, know him.
I will however be frank, and admit the fact that I am not putting in too much of an effort to conceal his identity. In fact I will make it quite obvious for anyone reading to deduce the man in question.
For example, by calling him a man I have given a vital clue. You will find such clues scattered around. Here they are somewhat akin to easter eggs found in movies.

Our man has the worst english I have ever see anyone speak. This is because most people with his level of spoken english are usually aware of their weakness, and prefer staying mute. Our man... well you could say that he is 'comfortably numb'
Living in a state of blissfull igorance.Wait! you didn't think that I dislike this man for such a trivial reason now did you ? yanyway[sic] even his technical knowledge is on par with his proficiency in english. Alas! The usual excuse, I am afraid doesn't help our man: " I caan code well vokay !" The letter 'W' not being in our man's version of english. 'Leave it to the whites to come up with TWO different letters for the same sound. Sheesh!'
When my first project was in testing I was given a heck of a time by this man since he was involved in testing my project. The project involved test support from my team and so had no code changes. A team of One person. Me. Instead of helping out a fresher on his first project our man decides to have fun at my expense. He heckles hounds and generally pisses me off, just for kicks I guess. Finally the project got over and I then avoided him like the plague until now.

Why did I bring his name up ? Well you see on the way to buy booze near my house there is a small shop which sells fried chicken. There is a brown dog that I see. I had named him barney.(which is not the name of our 'subject') So barney is obese(this is where the dissimilarities end) because he sits in front of the chicken shop and friendly customers keep feeding him bones. This is no special dog. It is not of royal birth or any of that sort. Then why does it get to become overweight and munch on tasty chicken bones ? mmmmmmmmmm
No reason. That is the way the world works. Undoubtedly, you would have heard me rant about W.Blake. he has the answer to this.
Our man is similiar to barney. he has no special talent. He is doing well becaus he has found a 'niche' where he might hide. In barney's case it was the chicken place. in our man's case its my company. The parallels astound me.
Only what happens if for some reason they are made to leave the niche that they have found ? I know barney will die a starving dog as he does not know how to find food in the real world. As for my colleague ? only time will tell.


Saturday Night Takeout said...

I hate the QA dumbfucks. Mine complained that the letter B looks too much like the numeral 8, and I should fix it.

Not shitting ya.

HelterSkelter said...

You should have asked him\her to fuck off