Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Chewbacca Defence

Before I begin, If you are one of those people who go " yew... South Park is so crude... its racist... blah blah blah..." then stop reading and go back to watching whatever it is that you watch.

The Chewbacca defence has gained a lot of popularity after it was used as a plot in South Park's Chef aid episode. In fact there have been instances when it has been used in legal discussions on Slashdot and many other internet sites.

The Plot: Chef hears Cartman singing Alanis morissettes hit song "Stinky Britches" and realizes that it was written by him 10 years prior. Seeking to have his name credited, he hires Kyle's dad to sue the record company for not giving in to his request. The record company hires johnnie "The guy who got O.J off" cochran.

In his closing argument cochran uses the "Chewbacca defence " which was used by him in the O.J case.
here is the defence:

Cochran: Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. This is Chewbacca . Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with the case? Nothing. It has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense?, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

Chef needless to say loses the case

However the coup de grace occurs later in th episode when cochran agrees to fight on chef's side for a retrial. Here he goes through part of the Chewbacca defence again but only this time, he whips out a little monkey in his hand, and then proceeds to say "look at the monkey! look at the silly monkey" at which moment one of the juror's head explodes.

Wicked stuff this is.

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