Benefits!!!

Recently We recieved a mail from the TseeSs corporate office promising "a bouquet of benefits in july" I can't wait till july to see what these bouquet of benefits will be !I have taken the liberty to come up with an estimate of what these could be;

Coming your way in july TseeSs presents A Bouquet of benefits!

these include;

1) A free pen (custom made in the P.R.C with the words "I love TseeSs; The best company in the world" engraved on the side) will be issued to all associates regardless of position provided he/she satisfies the following;

a)Must not have issued any stationary items in his name the previous financial year
b)Must not have gone onsite through TseeSs
c)Must not have a system for exclusive personal use

Disclaimer: As part of our corporate policy, if the pen is lost by the owner he will have to pay a negligence fine of Rs.500
CTC of the pen a whopping Rs.2

2)Availability of a new personal loan for the purchase of a Laptop subject to the following;

a)Must relinquish control of system currently in possesion
b)In case the loan is not paid back in the alloted 6 months validity period, the assocoiate must pay a fine equal to the cost of the Laptop
c)Interest rate is an industry low of 11.2% compounded daily
d)The individual however loses all tax exempts for the current year

3)Option to Buy TseeSs apparel at the lowest price anywhere in the market

a)Special offers on TseeSs T-Shirts now for only Rs.555 down from an earlier retail price of Rs.595

Disclaimer; TseeSs accepts no responsibility for Damaged goods and all shipments are made only on receipt of cash. Delivery charges are Rs.500+ weight based variable charges

*As a result of un-essential spending on the scheme TseeSs will introduce a 15% decrease in the Salary of its associates. Also some associates may be laid off