Friday, September 26, 2008


I have always believed that women are smarter than men, owing mainly to the fact that their judgment can, by definition, never be clouded by that debilitating condition that George Carlin refers to as 'Penis Envy.'

(This brings me to my first theory; that only women should be allowed in to politics, but more on that later.)

Hence, it would be excusable if one were to assume, like I, that women would never want to join the Armed Forces; the armed forces being a grim reminder of the horror and decadence inherent in human behavior and thought.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I heard that women want permanent commissions in the Indian Armed Forces and are apparently well on their way to getting it. Well, if the women want to join and "pump some lead" into enemy soldiers\civilians\puppies\commies, and generally behave like blood hungry barbarians, something we men have been doing quite well since pretty much the time the first hominid decided to get down from the trees and instead walk the plains of prehistoric Africa, I say go ahead.

Who would'a thunk? but if the women want to voluntarily join the army, then I guess we should let them, by all means, I mean if you are crazy enough to want to join the army, I'd rather you be among like minded individuals; killing, pillaging, raping or whatever it is that the armed forces do, than be roaming the streets of my town.

As long as I am bashing women, I might as well go all the way huh ?

So I went to Kolkata by Indigo; a low cost airline. The air hostesses were pretty as usual, but I want to know what they studied when they were at the air-hostess university, because all they did was demonstrate the safety procedures, and move the trolley up and down the aisle, selling food along the way.

So I am thinking that the timetable on day 1 of A-H university would be something like this:

Acme Air-Hostess University Timetable:

Period 1: Basics of seat belt buckling\unbuckling.
Period 2: Advanced trolley management.

Lunch Break

Period 3: make up for Air-Hostesses.
Period 4: Graduation Ceremony.

I keed, I keed; seriously I love women, cant live without them. Also, apparently there are quite a lot of things that they are taught.

[I work for a women's empowerment Agency, no seriously]


Sandy said...

LOL... whats the name of the agency you are working in??

Nithin "Kitta" Shenoy said...

Yeah! Even I am curious to know about that agency. :)

Airhostesses are taught a lot of stuff as there is a great deal of responsibility on them man. I had recently read about that plane hijack incident of 1986 where an Indian air hostess Neeraja Bhanot lost her life in the process of saving a lot of people.

JerryKantrell said...

haha, I love how you guys have so much belief in me, no wait, you don't!

I work for Nirnaya, I had gone to jharkhand to inspect a micro-finance project set up for the adivasi(tribal) women there. I am not making this stuff up :)

yeah, If I remember correctly, she worked for PANAM and the incident occurred in, surprise surprise, Pakistan. Also, she was quite pretty too.

Nithin "Kitta" Shenoy said...

Yeah. In Karachi.

Just checked the website of Nirnaya -
"Nirnaya is a women's fund which since inception has been supporting various women's groups across the country. In future too it has plans to support deserving individuals and groups who identify with the cause of women and are passionate about it."

Great man. When are you leaving for your higher studies?

JerryKantrell said...

Hehe, yeah thanks.
Fall '09 so I guess I have about 1 year left.

Nithin "Kitta" Shenoy said...

Cool. How did it cost to ship your RR3 to India? I am trying to get a guitar effects processor. The rates of the unit are way cheaper but the shipping cost is more than that of the unit itself. Damn!

JerryKantrell said...

it cost me 120$ for the shipping and 120$ for the super strong almost bullet proof looking hardcase.
But famke was worth it ;)