While looking into 'Probability' during my GMAT prep, and deciding to abandon the topic due to the perceived effort involved, I decided to write a post on what might be the probability of this overgrown baby of a writer's finding a girl to have a relationship with, I sensed that this would be a good topic to write on, and so here it is, my authentic, scientific, verifiable and falsifiable in the most Popperian of ways, treatment of the topic:

I propose to first calculate how many 'women' might be there who I presume; I would be interested in.

[Warning!; Rigorous Scientific proof ahead, not for the faint hearted also requires an advanced knowledge of Vector probability and other confusing things.]

As I have been living in India for the past 10 years, I will take into consideration only the Indian population.

a) Indian population = ~1 Billion

Heterosexual male (If you haven't already noticed)

b) No of women = ~ 0.5*1 Billion

= ~500 Million

c) Now I must remove women who are too old or too young, so assuming an average lifespan of 60 years and an equal distribution among the ages, let us say that number of women of a (particular) agreeable age;

= 500 Million/60

= ~83 Million

Requirements from my side;

d) Must be an atheist.

= 83 Million*0.01 (I just made up this fraction)

= 0.83 Million.

e) Must like Alice in Chains. ('No Excuses' for this one)

= 0.83 Million*0.001 (I just made up this fraction)

= 830

f) Must smoke, and I don't mean tobacco

= 830*0.001 (I just made up this fraction)

= 0.83

= ~1

Assuming that such a cosmopolitan chick would be equally likely to live in one of the major 6 cities in India, therefore, number out of 8, who live in my city;

= 1/6

= 0.1666

= ~0

Probability that such an awesome woman is still single = 0

Therefore number of women who meet criteria and are available:

= 0*0

= 0

Therefore, probability of my entering into a relationship;

No. of favorable outcomes/ Total No. of outcomes

= 0/83 Million [from (c)]

= 0

Hmmm, encouraging results.

[All rights reserved by his holy highness, founding member and president for life of the Institute of Fake Numbers (IFN), the king of statistics: Me!]

## 2 comments:

this is B#&^$#!*...

or is it ?

I prefer to call it a true lie (I know its a movie, but I am out of ideas)

Also, you don't need to censor your words man, you wanna say 'Bullshit', say 'Bullshit' hehe, I am not a chick you know, I am insensitive to these things.

I will be apping to a few colleges there, should get through at least one. (I hope)

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