Thursday, December 27, 2007

You Know Your Blog Sucks Ass When:

1)You are in a state of elation that one day some post gets a comment, even if it is a casual comment such as 'hey, nice font' and you have to beg your friends for comments. - P.S: Ravi I appreciate your comments man, please, keep them comin ;)

2)You post unconnected, plagiarized\stolen from the net, photographs in an effort to cover up the lack of actual subject matter in your posts.

3)You add words such as 'sex', 'porn', 'fuck', in an effort to increase your page hitcount, just as I have done here.(a hint for the less intuitive of you)

4)Being featured on someone else's blog suddenly increases your average visitor tally for a few days by 1000% (thanks to pi for that one, sadly for me, this is based on actual data, qualified by my laziness in doing any actual calculations, and my desire for public sympathy, Hey! wait a minute, I am talking to myself here.)

5)You never give your blog address to your friends lest they realize the fact that no one reads what you write.

6)Your Bounce Rate according to Google Analytics is above 80%

7)You embarrassingly remove any hitcounters or pageviews displaying widgets you might have added in a moment of misguided and overzealous optimism, because they haven't changed in over a week's time.

8)When you are a nerdy south Indian male with bad hair and zilch for a social life.

9)You can use your blog to store important passwords, account details, Secrets etc because you know this is the one place no one visits.

10)And for the finale, a self-referential point, a quintessential element of all my 'you know ___ when' lists: You come up with a list such as this.

And I take a bow, and leave.


Author's note:

This list is by no means exhaustive and shall be updated as and when a fresh wave of 'startling insight coupled with generous helpings of self-deprecation' hits me.

------------------------------

Listening to Grace - Jeff Buckley

I see no harm in confronting 'em demons inside - SiegerKranz Meer

No comments: